3 years ago today I had my last session of chemo. It’s a date I’ll never forget, from the moment I knew I was going to have to have chemo I just wanted to be finished with it. The 4 months of treatment which to me felt endless at the time actually flew by in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t the nicest thing to have to experience but out of it I learned so many valuable lessons. My true friends shone through, my family supported me so much and as for the unexpected support and well wishes I received I was blown away by the kindness extended to me. I learned that there is more good and positivity in this world than the opposite.
3 years on and it feels like a distant memory, something small might trigger a a memory of things that I had forgotten, little things like how painful it was to loose my hair or how irritated my eyes were as a result of dry eye from the treatment, how vulnerable and lost I felt at times but it’s a memory now and something that has shaped me into who I am today. On my last session I left my house that day with my cousin and I genuinely expected that after the treatment I would leave the hospital back to myself oh boy I was wrong. I was tired, bald and I didn’t skip out of St James’s I was actually a little deflated I think I had built up this milestone so much that when it came around although I was relieved to be finished, I started thinking “what next, what if”.
Also immediately I became impatient expecting my hair to grow back IMMEDIATELY and it didn’t, I don’t know what I was thinking but I expected a head of hair over night. But it amazed me how I recovered after chemo each month was a milestone and each month I felt stronger and began looking more like myself. My eyelashes fell out twice after my chemo finished then they came back for good. I remember thinking how good I felt relatively soon after I finished chemo but a month later when I was feeling stronger I would realise just how unwell I had been and I just didn’t notice it at the time.
The past 3 year have flown by, physically I am well and feel strong. So for those of you at the start of your treatment or just finished be patient, you will get back to yourself. Take your time and know that every day that passes you will heal and get stronger and one day before you know like me you will look back at it and feel like it happened so long ago.